when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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