my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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