I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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