You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
