i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
