Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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