how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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