White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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