When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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