you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
