I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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