Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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