4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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