what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
