real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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