just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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