i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you win again, gameday.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
