I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
