Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
