its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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