I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
