PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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