stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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