Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
