Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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