She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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