If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
