I wish I only lived at night.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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