your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
