I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
