Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
