You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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