Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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