she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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