i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
