My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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