right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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