This is not my ceiling
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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