then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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