And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
