just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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