I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
