I heard we made out
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
