i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think i have two assholes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
