it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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