quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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