I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize