i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
