two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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