have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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