make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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