He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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