Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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