playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize