Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
