Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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