Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize