If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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