I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
